Gizmodo reports on a new energy drink on the market endorsed by Steven Seagal, called Asian Experience. Yikes. From the site:

Are you stuck drifting through life in a state of existential confusion wandering aimlessly through the multitudes of energy products not knowing which one is the right one for you? Then look no further for the true meaning of life then Master Sensei Seagal’s Lightning Bolt Energy Drink!

Is this for real? It’s so tweaked it’s right on the verge of parody. I’m not sure I’d want to drink anything that has bullet points for having “100% Pure Steven Seagal Juice” (eww?) and is “Designed for intense mortal combat or any extreme situation requiring ultimate energy”. Perhaps that means it gives you the energy to stay awake while plunking quarters into the MK machine down at the arcade. Flawless victory!